Kuja Evicted!
by TragicIceCream
Summary: Kuja is faced with an eviction notice! Can Zidane and Dagger help him before it is too late?
1. Kuja Evicted!

Kuja Evicted?!

Kuja wrapped his arms lovingly around Dagger.  "You are so beautiful, you rival even my beauty!  I didn't know that such beauty existed."  Unfortunately Dagger was unconscious, but Kuja didn't care.  She was his precious gem, a doll which he could place on his mantle place. 

                Suddenly, Zidane stormed into the room in a jealous rage!   "What are you doing Kuja?!  Give Dagger back to me!"  His tail thrashed back and forth furiously in anger, like a chili pepper.

                "I don't think I shall be doing that, dear brother.  For you see, I have other plans."  Kuja laughed.

                Suddenly, Dagger woke up!  "Oh my god!  Kuja what are you doing to my body?! Let me go! Zidane!  Save me!"  She kicked and screamed wildly.

                Kuja sighed, this was getting to be too much effort, so he dropped her on the floor.  "Get thee to a nunnery! There you shall eat nothing but barley and wheat!"

                Dagger screamed as she was dropped onto the hard cold floor.  "Ouch!  Kuja how dare you drop me?!"

                Kuja shrugged.  "You said "let me go" did you not?  I see nothing wrong with what I have done."  Kuja turned his head to the side and huffed in indignity.  "What an impudent little girl."

                "How dare you talk about Dagger like that!" Zidane stormed up to Kuja angrily and shook his fist at him.

                Suddenly, Kuja picked him up!  "Haha!  My plan is complete now!  I have switched the worthless pudding princess for you!"

                Zidane was very confused.  "But wait, what do you mean?  
                "You are the special one, one of the few who was blessed with a soul.  How can I let you go now?" Kuja laughed again.

                Suddenly, Dagger pushed Kuja over!  "Ha!  Take that Kuja!  You deserve it!"

                "Ouch!" Kuja enunciated as he fell.

                Zidane scampered away from Kuja and ran with the princess out of the room.  Once they were safely outside on the other side of the door, they hugged.  "Oh Dagger, I'm so glad that he didn't hurt you!"

                "I am too."  Dagger smiled and held Zidane's hand cutely.  "Let's go get cheeseburgers!"

                "Ok!" Zidane happily took her hand and they strolled away to eat cheeseburgers and gyshall pickles.

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	2. The Tides of Change

Kuja sat upon his throne disgruntled.  Not only had the brat and his girl just run away making a public mockery of him, but he was now faced with an eviction notice!  "Oh wretched world upon which I walk, why have you disgraced me thusly?!"  He crumpled the paper in his hands like a soda can, growling with fury, for he had not paid any of his bills in over a month! 

Dagger heard his mournful cry and ran back into the room.  "Oh Kuja!  I didn't know that you were in such terrible trouble!  I can forgive you if you promise to be nice in the future!"  Kuja agreed, so Dagger gave him some money.

                Suddenly, Zidane stormed into the room!  "Kuja!  What are you doing to Dagger?"

                Kuja was very confused.  "Dearest brother, I am not doing _anything  to your little girl.  I'm simply paying my bills."_

                "Oh." Zidane was a little embarrassed, but it didn't last long.  He turned to Dagger and smiled.  He liked looking into her fond gaze and imagining that he were somewhere else with her, like an ice cream parlor.  "Hey Dagger, do you want to go to an ice cream parlor?"

                Suddenly Kuja remembered something!  "You know, in an early decade not too long before our own, a terrible tragedy faced this earth…" 

                "That's a splendid idea Zidane!  I would love to go have ice cream with you!" Dagger sighed wistfully, totally ignoring Kuja.

                "…day by day the troubles became more and more out of hand, and one by one the people began to realize…" he continued.

                "Ok, let's go!" Zidane agreed happily, and took Dagger's hand to lead her out of the room.

                "…it could happen again, you do realize this right?" Kuja looked up but then realized that Zidane and Dagger were both gone!  Sighing he shook his head.  "I should never have let them win.  I should have taken over this little planet and done something more economical with it."  

                Suddenly he looked to his right!  "I should really do my laundry sometime soon." He walked over to the pile in his pointy high heeled shoes, his steps echoing off the hard candied walls.  That's when he noticed the paper on top of the pile.  "…what is this?!"   

                He read the paper, a sorrowful and worried expression growing upon his countenance.  "Oh no…"

A/N:  Tada!  Part 2 is hashed out!  Can anyone guess what was in the paper?  Will Kuja be able to alert Dagger and Zidane in time?  Or will he not be able to alert them and have to struggle on all by his lonesome self?!  Please review and tell me what you think!  ^_^  


	3. Crackers

Crackers  
  
"What is that idiot brother of mine doing now?!" Kuja sighed and stormed furiously towards Zidane's room. "That mischievous brat knows he is getting us late..."  
As he walked into the room, Kuja glared around. "Zidane! What are you... Aaack!" His eyes went wide and for a moment, he adverted his gaze in shock. "What is that... that girl doing to you?!!"  
"You mean Dagger?" Zidane looked over quizzically managing to speak, though his mouth was full.  
"Yes... that would apparently be her, would it not?"  
"I don't know what your problem is, she's just giving me a cracker to eat." Zidane smiled and took another offered cracker in his mouth.  
"He's allowing her to feed him? This... this does not bode well..." Kuja thought dismally. Of course he had plans, but now they might be dashed! "Then again... she did pay for my rent."  
Dagger and Zidane stared at him quizzically.  
Kuja nodded solemnly. "Very well I have made up my mind. I will face this peril to the world on my own. You were never tough enough to get the job done anyway Zidane."  
Suddenly, Zidane pouted, thrashing his tail back and forth like a fish in the sea! "Kuja was is wrong with you? YOU were the peril to the world!"  
Kuja shook his head. "Obviously you never fought Ozma."  
Zidane cocked his head to the side. "What?"  
Kuja sighed. "Nevermind... the point is, regardless of what you've done in the past is insignificant."  
"Hey I am not insignificant!" Zidane said angrily!  
"No no, that's not what I meant. Let me put it in simple terms for your simple mind." Kuja paused to clear his throat, like a songbird before it was about to sing. "Think of everything you've done in the past that you thought was hard to do. Everything up to the most difficult battle that I let you win a few days ago!"  
He stopped for a second to make sure everything had sunk in. "Have you thought of it?"  
Zidane nodded. "Yeah I think so."  
Kuja took a deep breath. "This.... is worse."  
Zidane and Dagger both gasped in horror! "Oh no what could it be?"  
Suddenly Kuja turned away, crushing a small piece of paper in his hand with red hot frustration. "Zidane... I will be evicted again, regardless of the money I pay if...." Kuja trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.  
"What was that?" Zidane and Dagger leaned in closer.  
"I have to..." Again he could not finish.  
"We can't hear you..." Zidane smiled quirkily.  
"But I must..." Kuja couldn't find the right words.  
Suddenly, Dagger brandished a tennis racket and held it up high! "Tell us Kuja, or else!"  
"All right! All right! I will tell you..." Kuja leaned in close to them and whispered softly into their small ears.  
"WHAT?!!!" Zidane and Dagger burst into laughter.  
  
AN: Yes I'm still alive! I don't know if anyone is still interested in this fic anymore. If you are, please review and let me know! The next chapter will come much quicker than this one, as devilish plots are already scheming...  
  
Kuja: Devilish plots?!! Good lord woman! No! Let it end here!  
  
Zidane: Haha ohh no. I think you should let the readers hear what you have to do.  
  
Kuja: *shakes his head back and forth* No no no no no no!  
  
Dagger: *laughs* Come on Kuja, is it really that bad?  
  
Kuja: You have no idea. 


End file.
